On my left hand, poised
Over the control key of the word
Processor, my forefinger
Grew numb and then
My thumb. I was writing a poem
About death. Insatiable tourist
That I am, it was a travel
Brochure luring me to visit
The valley of the shadow. I leaped
Up, flexing my digits
Above my head, and danced
Around the living room
To the pulsing strains of an eleison:
Robert J’s contribution
To post-Easter Monday.
This could not be happening. I sat
Down again and copied
The poem with many a change
Mode and saved it on the disk>
If I were dying, at least
That would be finished. But blood
Was now returning to my hand.
Taking off my robe,
I found the elastic wrist
Of my knitted sweatshirt nightgown
Had been pushed too high up
On my arm, cutting off circulation.
Interesting as they sound, apparently
I was not yet a candidate
For an early death experience.
Poems

-
AT HOME: MOCK ALERT
-
AT HOME: RIGHT BRAIN AT WORK
Poems swim up unsummoned
When you are not fishing.
Like wary young sunfish they nibble
But never bite on your nightcrawlersOr settle like a charter flight
Of waxwings noisily snackbreaking
On smoky blue cedar berries
Before resuming their scenic tour.Poems are showers of falling stars
Caught by the camera you thought
You aimed at Halley’s comet or
The big dipper over New York City.You might as well try to net
A sunbeam, corral a hurricane
Or harvest snowflakes as tame
A poem to come on call like
A hummingbird to a sweetwater feeder. -
AT HOME: MORNING COMES TO MY LIVINGROOM
The popup sun, plump
As a cherry pincushion, laves
A rosy gouache over wintry
Webs of antlered trees
Onto fuchsia cactus flowers
And glossy red rimmed jade.Around the northwest shoulder
Of Pitcher Mountain, the Canada
Express, a spring cleaning
Housewife, shakes treetop
Dust mops and scrubs Crystal
Patches off the blueblack pond.Careering down stairs, the sixfoot
Wolfbred shepherd hairpins
Spraying up doves and juncos.
A cheetah hurdling furled
Swamp cabbages, he pants
Back to pen and biscuits.In golden windows aloe
Glows. Hollyhock stairtreads
Gleam coral. Dust
Moats spark. Dawn
Explodes into morning glory.
Coffee calls me to the kitchen. -
FRIENDS: SERMON BY OUR FAVORITE HERETIC
Sunlight dyed crimson by the lead-limned folds
of the master shepherd’s cloak
Turns auburn the coiled braid of the harpist
Leaning gently into her royal
Instrument inlaid with vines, a Corinthian column
At its prow. She weaves us melodies.
The stained glass sheep listen, eyes
Downcast or mesmerized, feet
On apple green astroturf. HOw sweetly
Jesus leads his flock.But what is this we hear? What heresy assaults
Our ears? The seed that Origen
Implanted ran rampant like kudzu or bittersweet when
Rowed ashore by Murray, who was
Blown off course and washed up in New Jersey
Where crazy farmer Potter’s
Chapel waited for an anti-Calvin to unbolt
The gates of Hades and harrow
Hell and escalate sinners to God’s coffeehouse.
Not obedient sheep.But randy goats, fauns, satyrs, Pan’s
Unspeakable obscene ilk were
All invited to a divine live aid
Amplified synthesized concert
After, of course, some brief retraining in the basics of
Remedial ethics: Miss Manners’
Finishing school for psychopaths, terrorists and sadists
With rehabilitation guaranteed.
Verily he would never insult us by calling himself
Pastor to a flock of sheep. -
FRIENDS: SCHOOLING
Seated at desks, our students
Bow their heads to assignments.
Paperwork gives the cocaine
Dream its fatal enchantment.We chain Prometheus until
He eats his heart out.
Then Hercules stalks our streets
Burning, raping and mugging.In Vienna young white horses
Levade, courbette and capriole,
Their coltish leaps and gambols
Encouraged into dance steps.And kittens spring onto draperies,
Laughed at and applauded,
Or ricochet off chair arms
Practicing rat entrapments.Not, like human children,
Rebuked into passive conformity
Which will issue in a ninety-year-
Old silent scream. -
FRIENDS: TO A STUDENT WHO READ HER POEM IN CHAPEL
Your words are so damaged
I am compelled to suspect
They may be poetryAs Emily Dickinson knew
When the top of her head
Began to come off
That she was in
The presence of a poem.
Your images
Ignited by resentment
Exploded in our heads.
Your laser sentences
Melt down our cool.
Your atomic words
We fear
If the reactor overheats
May self destruct. -
FRIENDS: THE LESSON
On the last day of classes, she and Lisa
Came up to the desk. For our most patient
Teacher, they began. Patient? I,
Who at home rages at my children’s litter?
“Wait,” said Lisa. Eleanor has made you
Something to suggest patience: a single stalk
Of ripened wheat finely drawn in ink
On gray rice paper matted and bordered.Yesterday I snapped my fingers and laughed
At Eleanor’s faraway blank stare during review.
Often she came in late from art class.
I recall her running up the stairs
In painty smock, her champagne hair tied back.
One day she wore a blue-green-yellow
Batik dress dyed, patterned, cut,
Fitted and sewn by her own hand.
At the spring arts festival my child and I
Watch a boy with smiling eyes insert
Her flow-dyed filter papers in her lighted
Viewing box. The soft colors glowed.
Her last theme told of a girl who ran
Out of the house to watch a spring sunrise
And found in the meadow a second sun, a daffodil.
This lily of the field will light up my memories. -
FRIENDS: ON THE BEACH
Here is an English garden of sun – and water-
Loving annuals. Tenderfooted, we step
Along beach towel borders enclosing clusters
Of marigold heads, pansy, faces and petunia mouths.
Johnny jump-ups explode in our path.
Cockscombs posture casually alert for photographers.Clouds of dissonant sounds billow and swirl
In a summer camp kitchen: a helicopter eggbeats
Sea froth, surf launders jellyfish on the washboard
Of the sand, voices tinkle and clatter, like a swashing
Sinkful of enamel cups and steel utensils.
A delivery truck beeps like a microwave oven.But as we wade along the shore, fog
Like stage smoke transforms the scene from circus
To hobbit barrens sparsely interrupted by turrets,
Moats and bridges, earthform architecture whose small
Engineers scurry to mound up dikes faster
Than tidal dragon breath can melt them down.
Venus-like vapors convince us we are treading the strand
Of an ocean planet where alien life forms
Sprout from the soil: two halfsize humanoids
Rooted at the waist, a monkey face necked
To a sanstone pyramid. But we are reassured we are still
Earthbound by frequent gleams of video lenses.
Reluctant to return to roles of cookery and housewifery,
We splash on until for brief interludes
We are the sole inhabitants of moonscape dunes.
Then we reverse course and teleport almost
Instantly back to the parking lot, pausing
Only for a fortifying shot of diet soda. -
FAMILY: CONFESSION
Like a koala bear on eucalyptus, she clings to her mother’s
Leg, howling. Her father plucks her loose
And carries her to bed. He says nothing. Enough
Words have steamed the air from the pressure cooker
Of the long day’s doings from nursery school
To carnival. I recall, if he does not,
A time when he too cried unconsolably
All the way to the doctor’s office and back
Because a new and tired mother slapped
A toddler who had thrown her glasses on the floor. The
prescription
Issued by an annoyed pediatrician was aspirin for her
And more tolerance for him. I tell this tale
To my daughter-in-law, who is sponging magic marker
From the carpet with regret for the scolding she has given my
grandchild. -
FAMILY: CHANGES
What are these trees with pale and blotchy skin,
Like adolescents scarred with acne,
Whose brown Christmas tree balls hang down in early
Springtime above the hired
Van outside my son’s condo window?
Rain suddenly splatters
The sill from gray cloud ghosts rushing
Under blue sky and scattered
Cumulus ahead of tree tossing March
Winds. It is time to get moving.
The bed has left and the crib, but still I stand,
Abstracted by castor marks
In carpets and one hanger swinging in a closet.
This is a sycamore husk
The seeds carried elsewhere to go on growing. -
FAMILY: TIME SHARING
Borrowing my daughter’s apartment
For a family snowshoeing holiday,
We find appliances intractable.
In her absence the coffeemaker
Does not start, the dishwasher
Stalls and the gas oven
Ominously clicks before warming.
Worst of all, the satellite
Antenna transmits static.
Possessions, more permanent than persons,
Protest abandonment by their owners.
As our dog barks and assaults
The pen when we depart,
Her vacuum cleaner coils
Its cord around our ankles,
Trash barrels flip their lids, and
The security alarm rings
Unceasingly when we set it.
An audience is sought by the copper
Musical antique car
Playing “On the Road Again.”
Ruby wine glasses wink
And blush to catch our eyes.
Things, less transient than humans,
Fear people may disappear
Leaving them like seaglass on the beach
To be repossessed at. public auctions. -
FAMILY: A WALK WITH A THREE-YEAR-OLD
We stoop to look at ant hills.
Her small finger closes the holes.
Toting their eggs and leafbits,
Ant workers scurry this way and that, unperturbed.
“I break them,” she announces.
In her other hand she holds three straggly
Buttercups and one lupine.
Clovers or Bouncing Bet she tosses aside.
Tickle grass lifts her chin.
“Let me make me laugh, Grammie.”I upend the stem
To prod a hunting spider, who toad-hopsInto poison ivy.
Her ziplock sandals pursue a narrow
Cement wall, a childsized
Promenade under a hemlock. Last year’s conelets,Brittle and seedless, cling
To the studs and joists of this cool dark chamber.Rapelling past its apertures
On slender nylon climbing ropes swingCasual gypsy caterpillars.
Bon vivants, they have littered the drive with their leavings.Relentless Jenny erases them,
Stamps them into oily exclamation marks on the tartop.